It was a quiet weekday evening but there was much merriment as a group of friends sat down for dinner. Smiling broadly and chatting amiably, the group of ten was clearly happy to see each other. They congratulated their friends Chan Wai Yu and KT Soon on the arrival of their first grandchild Gemma, and also celebrated Rahim Din and Marina Chin’s excellent sugar blood test result that morning. Very soon, the conversation turns to the trips they are planning, with joyous anticipation of good times.
This group, comprising of 10-12 professionals who are now retired or semi-retired, calls themselves a foodie group for they meet regularly to share meals and even go on trips together. They usually communicate via a whatsapp group chat, updating each other on their food finds and eating adventures. But they also meet in person regularly for it’s the company that they cherish.
“We meet whenever someone finds an interesting new restaurant or to celebrate birthdays and festivals… any excuse really… or when we miss each other,” shares architect Rahim Din who joins the outings with his lovely wife Marina Chin.
Eight years or so ago, their friend Vivian introduced them to two couples whom she thought would click well, and they “shared a meal, enjoyed themselves and decided to do it again and again, and again.”
“The group has grown…. We introduced two couples we are close to and had travelled with and they grooved in seemlessly,” relates Rahim who is a youthful 70-year-old and in the midst of planning an impromptu trip to Japan with Marina, with food tours thrown in.
“At our age it is difficult to make new friends let alone those on the same wavelength.
“Our old friends from school and university do not seem to share our fondness for food and travel… we can be a bit extreme …and although we keep in touch we meet infrequently.
“We are lucky to have integrated some old friends with new ones and everyone in this group has a zest for life which is invigorating,” adds Rahim.
Good company, good humour and grace
Researchers term the friendship and trust that this foodie group has cultivated as “social capital”. Maintaining social interactions is particularly important for seniors, precisely because both our health and social capital tend to decline as we age and retire from jobs, lose friends and spouses to death and illness, and children move away.
Being part of a social group and having deep connections also promote a sense of belonging and participation that greatly increases the quality of life. Other benefits include reducing the risk of depression and loneliness, boosting cognitive functions and enhancing emotional well-being.
Sharing the same interest has kept their friendship going, says Anthony Francis who joined the group eight years ago.
“We match each other in the group, I think, because we actually all believe in having fun and we do what we do in moderation .. eating, drinking, travelling and .. but expecting no miracles.”
Retired banker Jeanie Lew said she and her husband TP Tan found everyone in the group nice and kind when they were introduced to the group by Rahim and Marina.
“We all get along well. While nobody is difficult, give and take is important too.”
Lew’s husband stockbroker TP Tan said “going dutch” has also kept the group going as it makes things less complicated. “It’s easier when everyone just pay for their own.”
Although a multiracial and diverse group, they have been able to plan their food excursions easily … “It’s more about finding tables big enough to accomodate our group,” says architect Joseph Tan.
“The places we dine at are so varied and the experiences so different it is impossible to compare. We enjoy Michelin dining just as much as nasi lemak at a popular stall that you have to queue for an hour,” says Rahim.
Although indulgence is the order of the day in eating outings, this group of seniors also keeps tabs of their health. Rahim and Marina go to the gym every day, and Joseph clocks in the miles on his walks.
But even though they do their research and go to recommended places, sometimes this foodie group ended up disappointed.
“There are times when the food is not so good or far from good. It’s on occasions like this that good company, good humor and grace come to the fore. We don’t always agree on everything; some like durians and some won’t touch the stuff.
“I remember being in SS2 with those not so fond of durians being plainfully explicit BUT everyone was still chill and in good cheer. I am also grateful that prickly characters (such as myself) get tolerated,” says Joseph.
No primadonnas
Ultimately, scoring the best food is not what drives this group of foodies.
“Sometimes, you don’t remember the food and just the memory of the company remains,” says Joseph.
Francis says, “Every occasion we share is an occasion to remember – especially the occasions at the Make-A-Wish annual do and celebrating Hari Raya and Christmas in the home of Marina & Rahim – and even eating at a stall with laughter, sharing the moments that seem even magical at times.”
They have enjoyed each other’s company so much that they have also gone travelling together.
“We have travelled in groups of 4 and more and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. There is a lot of give and take and no primadonnas thank goodness!
“With members of this group, we have been to Russia, Italy, Taiwan, Switzerland, the UK, Australia, Hungary, Slovenia, Germany, Prague Republic, France, Thailand and Vietnam. Coming up will be Netherlands and the Serengeti,” shares Rahim who also recalls working three jobs and surviving two recessions before he could finally retire and reap the rewards of his golden years.
Make-a-wish CEO Irene Tan said being part of the group and seeing everyone live their best lives is inspiring.
– Molly Kim
